talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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