fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
