oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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