I can tuck mytits in my pants
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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