i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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