don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
