For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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