i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
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Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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