office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize