I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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