Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
