I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Randomize
