He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
