What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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