She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
