he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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