Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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