He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
