When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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