Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
