There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize