i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
