his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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