it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
