I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize