Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
