Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
