ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and she was petting her beer can
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
