I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She swung at the pinata with crutches
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
