Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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