whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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