So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
