You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
