And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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