I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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