is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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