i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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