if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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