a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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