definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
