its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
