love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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