its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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