so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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