Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So vagazzling was a success
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
