when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
