the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
