I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
