Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
