If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He shit in the fireplace
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
