Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
