the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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