She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
