Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
