I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The Olympian is in my bed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
