I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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