i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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