they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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