none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She bit a glass in half.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
