1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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