I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
