Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
